AILSA CHANG, HOST:
Have you ever wished that you could revisit your past so that you could gaze upon your younger self, maybe even whisper something in her ear to offer reassurance or some clarity? Well, Sophy Romvari finds a way to do just that in her new film "Blue Heron." It features a family, much like hers, newly arrived on Vancouver Island one summer in the late 1990s. And as the months go by, the behavior of her eldest brother, Jeremy, becomes more and more unpredictable. In one scene, he's throwing things at his stepfather who wants an explanation after Jeremy is caught shoplifting.
(SOUNDBITE OF FILM, "BLUE HERON")
ADAM TOMPA: (As Father) Calm down. Stop it. Talk to me. Hey, talk to me.
EDIK BEDDOES: (As Jeremy) Get away from me.
TOMPA: (As Father) Hey. Hey.
BEDDOES: (As Jeremy) Get away from me.
TOMPA: (As Father) Stop it. Calm down.
CHANG: This film is about the family's grief and love as they attempt to understand Jeremy's emerging mental health struggles. It's also an exploration of memory - memories about that grief, about the chaos of that time - all told through the eyes of Jeremy's little sister, Sasha. Now, Sasha is a proxy for the very real person who lived a version of this story, filmmaker Sophy Romvari, who joins us now. Welcome, Sophy.
SOPHY ROMVARI: Hi. Thank you so much for having me.
CHANG: Thank you for being here. So let me ask you, when you think back to the time when you were living with your brother - who's named Jeremy in this film - how do you remember him back then?
ROMVARI: It's a great question because I think the film that I made and the person that he was are quite different at this point. I think a big part of making this film was realizing that, you know, when you have a memory that's quite distant in the past, you start to lose the details. And...
CHANG: Yes.
ROMVARI: I think I wanted to make this film to really understand and come to terms with the fact that those memories are really all you have left when someone passes away. And I think filmmaking is a way for me to try to play with those concepts and understand what is a memory and how does it manifest over time, because they change so much over time. So...
CHANG: Yeah. And I want to talk more about how filmmaking helps you process memory. But going back to your brother, the way you do remember him now...
ROMVARI: Yeah.
CHANG: ...When did you start realizing that your brother was different from other boys his age?
ROMVARI: The way that my brother was was completely - to me, it seemed normal because that was my only understanding. But it wasn't until, I think, I felt the judgment that I felt, that my parents felt from other people that I came to understand that, you know, his behavior was not exactly normal. And I think, you know, he was a very - the way he behaved, it was very provocative. He wanted to provoke a reaction. He wanted to cause conflict in a way and wanted to create chaos, and it was something that I just became so used to. And so really, I wanted to show that element above everything else in the film is how, you know, someone's behavior can become normalized in a family dynamic, and it's not until much later that you realize the impact that it might have on you.
CHANG: But let me ask you, when you're setting out to depict a personal experience on film, do you think it sometimes distorts the actual memory in your mind? Like, film doesn't just preserve a memory, it can sometimes change the memory because of how it depicts the memory.
ROMVARI: Oh, absolutely. I think that's really well put. And I think I knew that pretty much from the point that I started to write this script that I had no control over what was real or true anymore. I just had to go based on my creative instincts. And so I didn't try to - I don't - I wouldn't even really call it recreation because so much of it's just there's a spiritual connection to memories that I have, but it's so subjective. So I really, from the beginning, decided I'm not going to try to get this right because I'm going to get it wrong. It's going to be my subjective point of view within this family dynamic. But, you know, the way that my parents remember things or the way that my brothers remember things are all...
CHANG: Yes.
ROMVARI: They're all different, you know, and I think that creatively, it's not actually very, you know, fulfilling for me or for an audience to watch just the specific memories that I think are, you know, the most authentic because that is not always, you know, interesting or cinematic. You have to make decisions that actually help draw people in, create a story, create an atmosphere that is engaging. So you're really finding a balance between the personal and something that is accessible to an audience. And I wanted people to...
CHANG: Yes.
ROMVARI: ...Be able to understand this film emotionally above all.
CHANG: Well, I understand that your parents have watched this movie. Did they feel the film represented their memories too, or do they remember a very different version of the challenges your brother struggled with?
ROMVARI: I think for my parents, as well as for me, this film is truly like the tip of the iceberg, really. And I think that's part of what I had to admit in the making of the film. And, you know, Jeremy just has this one line pretty much at the end of the film, which is...
(SOUNDBITE OF FILM, "BLUE HERON")
BEDDOES: (As Jeremy) And I think there's a lot you don't remember.
ROMVARI: I think there's a lot of things you don't remember. And in the process of making the film, the film became about the acceptance of not being able to control my past, not being able to control what I have access to in my memories. And so when my parents see the film, they, of course, see there's, like, spiritual connections and real elements of our experiences and the specificity of, like, where we grow up. And there's so many elements, but for all of us, it's just - it's like looking in a distorted mirror or something. It's not quite right.
CHANG: Yeah.
ROMVARI: It's - there's - it's a fiction. You know, it's - ultimately, it's something that I think I crafted with a lot of love and specificity for my family, but it's not - you know, it's not my family. It's not a documentary.
CHANG: Right.
ROMVARI: It's so strange because it feels to me almost like the film is relatable even though it is technically a depiction of my own experiences. I can watch the film and think, well, that's odd. It's so relatable.
CHANG: (Laughter) Can I ask you, now that this film has been made, do you feel like it has helped you better understand things about your past, about your family?
ROMVARI: I think that it's sort of more about the acceptance that I can't, if that makes sense. So by the end of the film, I think what you traditionally want in a film is closure, and I think that I was not really willing to go there because I don't really believe in that as a concept. I think especially when it comes to grief, there's just - it's always going to be ongoing. And so it's more about the acceptance of what you live with and what you have to move through the world with. It doesn't mean you can't get to a better place, that you can't come to a greater understanding. But I think there's no such thing as a happy ending when it comes to these difficult topics.
CHANG: Yeah, or a resolution.
ROMVARI: Yeah, yeah.
CHANG: There's no such thing. Yeah.
ROMVARI: That's where the film, for me, is about acceptance and acceptance that you - you're basically responsible for your own life, and you have to live for yourself and come to understand yourself so that you can be a better person in the world and that you can be a more supportive person in the world. Because if you live in the past and if you're stuck in these ruminations, you're not able to move forward, and that's not going to benefit you or anyone around you.
CHANG: Well put. Sophy Romvari's new film is called "Blue Heron." It's in theaters now. Thank you very much, Sophy, and congratulations on your debut feature.
ROMVARI: Thank you so, so much. It's so great to meet you over the (laughter) radio waves.
CHANG: (Laughter) Likewise.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SOME THINGS LAST A LONG TIME")
DANIEL JOHNSTON: (Singing) Your picture is still on my wall. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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