SCOTT DETROW, HOST:
An entire industry is built around men hanging onto their hair. There's pills. There's foams. There's transplants. There's expensive treatments. And for a long time, the general assumption was that if a man noticed he was going bald, he would do everything he could to stop or to hide that fact. These days, that does not seem to be the case as much. Baldmaxxing - two Xs, very important - is a growing trend online and in real life. An entire corner of the internet has grown around the idea of encouraging dudes to stop fighting their hairlines and just shave the rest off.
Now, full disclosure because you cannot see me on the radio, I have joined this trend in recent years, though, I don't think we were calling it baldmaxxing just yet. Once I did, I wondered why I'd waited so long. Harry James knows that feeling well. He runs Baldcafe, an online community that's helped thousands of men embrace going bald instead of hiding from it. Harry, welcome.
HARRY JAMES: Thank you very much. Yeah, good to be here. Good to be here talking all things baldmaxxing.
DETROW: I want to start - have you seen this recent wave of AI pics of George Costanza from "Seinfeld" bald with a beard?
JAMES: I did. I did. That was the first one, I think, wasn't it, that kicked off that trend...
DETROW: Yeah.
JAMES: ...On the internet - took that and ran with it.
DETROW: He looks good.
JAMES: He does, yeah, yeah. Because that's a common thing. You know, there's a few key figures of guys who are kind of rocking the horseshoe, as they call it, you know? And there's that debate - should they just shave it all or continue to rock the horseshoe? What should they do?
DETROW: If you've got the horseshoe, is the answer ever, yes, you should keep the horseshoe?
JAMES: It truly is up for debate. You know, you've got Thomas Tuchel right now, in the England dugout, very much rocking the horseshoe. And I wonder if pure confidence in hair loss - maybe that is the end game. But I think shaving it is definitely a huge step in revealing your baldness - right? - to the world. Because the real issue, rather than the amount of physical hair you've got on your head, is, of course, the insecurity around it.
DETROW: Very much so. I mean, how do you frame this conversation? You have had so much experience talking to people, talking about this. A lot of men come to the same point of, I don't like my hairline, but it feels scary to go bald. Maybe I think my head looks weird - all sorts of other questions. Like, what, to you, is the next part of that conversation?
JAMES: Yeah. No. It's probably the question I'm asked the most - right? - is, like, is it time? And I always reply with a question, which is, you know, what is life like for you now with the current hair that you have? And when guys start to talk about the weight of needing to keep my balding hidden and disguised is starting to take away from, like, my enjoyment of things. I'm not going swimming. I just feel so tense. You know, the first thing I do when I walk into the office is go to the bathroom to check the mirror. All these things that I think people who aren't experiencing hair loss kind of overlook, or they don't understand kind of the weight that balding can weigh on a man.
DETROW: Can I tell you what pushed me over?
JAMES: Yeah. No. I really wanted to ask. What was your final straw?
DETROW: I think I could have let it go for a while longer, but I'd noticed that several times in a row, when I was getting haircuts, the barber was kind of doing a little bit of a comb-over without me asking. And I was like, good God, absolutely not. And I think that was time just to see what it would look like.
JAMES: Yeah. Did it weigh on you at all? Like, were there times where you were like, I'm really not feeling good about this, other than the barber shop?
DETROW: You mentioned swimming, and I hadn't thought about it. But, yes, like, popping out of the pool. It did not (laughter) feel good, and I would try to muss it right away, you know? Or just kind of...
JAMES: Yeah.
DETROW: ...Pictures from the back or from the top. And I was like, ooh. I don't like that. I don't like that.
JAMES: Yeah. Yeah. And then those are the things, you know, little ways that it creeps in. And I think for you, the unintentional comb-over was the sign of maybe it's time to kind of really get rid of this. But for some guys, you know, that is their sort of safety net, right? And that is the thing that almost keeps them trapped, right? They need that to feel kind of safe, to feel like they're keeping the balding hidden. And that's when things can get really ugly, you know, in a psychological sense.
DETROW: Yeah. One thing I did want to ask how you think about as we talk about all of this is this is the case with every trend, right? Like, people talk about a new trend, but it's not really new. And obviously, people have been shaving their head for a long time. And I think a lot of Black men, in particular, this has been something that has been the standard move for a very long period in time, and there's nothing entirely new about embracing this. How do you think about that aspect of this as people talk and think about it more?
JAMES: Yeah. I guess the difference now is there's obviously this narrative around the moment you shave your head where guys are like, nah, you know, I kind of gave up on the hair. You know, I gave up. But I think baldmaxxing is very much guys seeing it as a positive move. You know, it's like, I'm going to be the bald guy. I'm going to be - I'm going to display my self-confidence, and I'm going to max out. I'm going to max out all my other stats, you know, and be the baldmaxxed man.
DETROW: I am sure there is somebody listening who has been wearing a baseball cap all the time or fussing with their hair in the mirror soon as they get to work. What is your advice to somebody who's not sure what to do next?
JAMES: To put it as simply as I can, you need to take a step - no matter how small - outside of your current comfort zone. So more than likely, as the insecurity over your hair loss has increased, you've just shrank yourself more and more and more, you know, clinging to the hat, clinging to a certain style. You need to take a step in the opposite direction. And that can be a physical move with the hair or with taking the hat off before you enter a coffee shop or to take the bins out, or you can cut the hair down. You don't need to do the full head shave. You know, maybe do something like a grade three, zero on the sides - just take a gradual step to confront that insecurity.
DETROW: Yeah.
JAMES: And another way you can do this is verbally. You know, like, honestly, you're probably afraid of judgment from people around you if you were to just show up as a bald man. Just have that conversation. Because I think exposing it in that way, verbally, you see the reaction from people. They're like, all right, whatever. Like, that's cool.
DETROW: (Laughter).
JAMES: And you're like, oh, people aren't freaking out.
DETROW: Yeah.
JAMES: But maybe this is going to be OK, and it can just get that ball rolling for you.
DETROW: Something I didn't fully realize - that that decision to shave your hair off is the first of many decisions. And it actually took me a really long time to figure out what the right approach was - you know, fully shaved, leaving some stubble, complementing with a beard. It took a while before I actually felt fully comfortable, even though it was the right - I think the first step was the right one. What advice do you...
JAMES: Yeah.
DETROW: ...Give to guys on trying to figure out those next steps and the degree that works for them?
JAMES: For sure, like, I've probably had every facial hairstyle under the sun. You don't need a massive beard. That's a common misconception. Play around with it. Honestly, like, have fun with it. Just because you're now shaving your head doesn't mean you abandon taking care of how you look and your appearance. You can very much still visit a barber shop. I like to treat myself once in a while to that shape up.
And actually, that's a huge thing for guys to do. If you're feeling a little bit unsure, go and get it professionally done. Because I think that act of, like, a bit of self-care, you know, a bit of self-love can really sort of help you still appreciate yourself, appreciate your look, and majorly up your confidence. Chances are you're going to need to experiment a bit before you're like, yeah, this is my look. But when you find it, roll with it, run with it, be proud of it and ride off into the sunset never worrying about balding ever again.
DETROW: Harry James runs the Baldcafe online community. Thank you so much. And know that, right now, I'm giving you the bald guy head nod.
JAMES: The head nod. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure.
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