One might expect a film about killer unicorns to go all in on mayhem and magic, but if that’s the film folks expect in “Death of a Unicorn,” they’d be better off waiting for someone else to try this idea again later.
Director and writer Alex Scharfman promises audiences a creature feature about murderous unicorns in which Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega try to survive the onslaught. But the film ends up playing things too safe in a disappointing turn.
Rudd plays a workaholic father named Elliot trying to suck up to a wealthy pharmaceutical family and earn enough money for his daughter Ridley (Ortega) to live a comfortable life.
They travel to a wildlife preserve in rural, mountainous Canada, and on the way, they run over a baby unicorn with their car. Unsure of what to do, they continue to a reclusive lodge where the wealthy Leopold family waits.
Elliot is an attorney trying to get them to sign a contract that will leave him well-established in their company, and Ridley is brought along as a sympathy prop since her mother died, leaving Elliot a single father.
On paper, this sounds like a promising setup. But Rudd spends most of the movie mucking up any attempts to grow closer to his daughter, proving to be an unlikable doormat for the Leopold family (played by Richard E. Grant, Will Poulter, and Téa Leoni).
When the Leopolds discover unicorn blood, which healed Elliot of his allergies and Ridley of her acne, they immediately set out to harvest all that they can from the corpse Elliot struck with his car. But things take a turn when the unicorn’s parents arrive and seek revenge, killing bodyguards, researchers, and more.
There are a few fun kills in this movie, and Ortega shines as one of the film’s only enjoyable performances, aside from Anthony Carrigan. But the writing is so bland that it reduces Rudd (yes, the extremely likable and charismatic Paul Rudd) to a generic shill. He could have been swapped out for any other actor, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. His legendary charisma is wasted by the cliches of this movie.
Meanwhile, Grant, Poulter and Leoni all play brainless wealthy parodies who are so on the nose that the nose is immediately broken. They feel like background antagonists in a “Knives Out” movie who don’t have the benefit of a Detective Benoit Blanc to play off of. And the audience is forced to spend almost the entire first half of the movie with them. Aside from the baby unicorn struck at the start of the story, there’s no unicorn mayhem for the first 60 minutes, which leaves “Death of a Unicorn” feeling dull and monotonous.
And when the unicorns do finally show up to start killing people, it’s so dark and the camerawork is so shaky that it’s difficult to see what’s happening most of the time.
“Death of a Unicorn” isn’t dumb enough to be an enjoyable B-movie like “Tremors.” And it’s not smart enough to be a thought-provoking piece on mysticism and mankind’s attempts to wrestle with control over fate like “Jurassic Park.” Instead, it plays things safe, making roadkill out of an interesting premise.
The film would have been so much more fun if it injected itself with more killer unicorns and zany action or if the story had provided some more world-building or lore for the presence of these mythical creatures.
Fans looking for a more enjoyable creature feature would be better off watching “Werewolves Within.” And folks wanting a genuinely enjoyable unicorn story should instead check out “The Last Unicorn.”
